I am writing this post early, as my husband and I will be on our anniversary trip around the time this gets posted! It is a getaway that is so ‘us,’ somewhere COLD (we went on our honeymoon to the snowy mountains in Banff, Canada)! Because we just survived another round in the oven of summer here in Phoenix, we get anxious this time of year to feel some very different weather. I feel extra grateful that we have an October anniversary. It seems like it’s a perfect month of “calm” before the whirlwind of the holidays.
An anniversary inevitably brings time of reflection over the past year. Nearly one year ago, we stood on a grassy hill, squeezing each other’s hands, and said our personal vows to one another. There was a moment when I was supposed to be repeating some vows after the pastor, and when it was my turn to speak, I didn’t say anything. I was staring into Jeff’s hazel eyes and it was a moment straight out of the movies. For just a few seconds, I had no awareness of anything going on around me. I did not hear the pastor. All I was thinking about was how every moment of my life led to that one, and it was exactly as it was supposed to be. I snapped out of it when I realized that people were giggling from my silence. I sheepishly told the pastor that I had gotten lost in my husband’s eyes, we all shared a laugh, and proceeded until “you may kiss your bride.”
365 days have passed since that day, that moment. A lot of life has happened in that time. A lot of it felt like we resumed normal programming, such as going back to work, getting back into our fitness routines and what not. But, a lot of growth has happened. I wanted to share with you here some things I have learned over the past year.
Deep, meaningful relationships are not easy, but they are more rewarding than any others you will ever have. I know people always say that marriage is not easy, but I think that the concept of it can spread across any form of relationship when your life is very intertwined with another’s. For many reasons and over years of time, I became a fiercely independent person. That can be one of my best, and one of my most challenging character traits, especially when it comes to being married. So one huge lesson I learned was that I had to take control of managing my time and energy, and actually pouring it the MOST into my highest priorities. It was not long ago that in the evening, my husband asked if I wanted to go fly with him in the morning (he is a pilot), and I said yes! Six months before that, I may have said yes, but I would have been stressed about the endless, hour by hour to-do list or obligations that I had. I finally had said ‘no’ to enough things so that I could give a confident ‘yes’ to quality time with a man I love so much. The reward for all of the pain I felt saying ‘no’ to things/people, was that I got to spend a quiet, relaxing morning flying from Gilbert to Lake Pleasant and back with my handsome husband. That was a huge victory in a small moment.
Now, let’s talk about the parts that are so incredibly rewarding! I get to do life with my best friend in the whole world. He gets me like no one else does, and knows me better than anyone. We have moments when I stop and think that no one else in the world would know why something is so funny, or understand our sarcasm toward one another. We can exchange looks and instantly know what the other is thinking. This is so cheesy, but I used to watch romantic movies and wonder if those butterfly moments would truly ever happen to me when I found the one. Although we are not much for fancy dates, in the littlest moments, my husband reminds me in his words or actions that I am the most special thing in the world to him. I never take those moments for granted.
The final thought I wanted to share has been the greatest lesson in my life: cherish every single day, one dayat a time. I found that the times I felt sad, anxious, or unfulfilled were when I was focused on the past or the future. But the gift of being grateful for each moment of each day, especially in marriage, I am convinced is one of the greatest you can give your partner. It made our frequent evening walks so much more enjoyable when we just laughed and talked about things in the moment, rather than spending them talking about things from the past that we carry, or things in the future we long for. It reminds me to feel grateful for the air in my lungs and cherish the hugs or kisses I get from him every day. It makes us smile when our dog is being super weird or super adorable, when we would otherwise be distracted by our thoughts of things outside those moments. It reminds us that tomorrow is never promised.
Love is as beautiful as it is hard. I am so thankful to have a man there in the best moments and in the most character-building ones. Someone who vowed forever and spends every day fulfilling that promise. To my husband on our anniversary, I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Thank you guys for reading. I hope you have an amazing rest of your week <3
XoXo Lindsey Sholtis